Hobgoblin By Christian Ward

Someone witnessed a hobgoblin crawl out of Jim's – my flatmate’s – mouth. Or so they thought. The hobgoblin made the nearby cows eat cheeseburgers, got the starlings drunk on Budweiser, fornicated with mannequins, and attempted to peel the moon like a tangerine.

Nobody had actually seen Jim for a couple of weeks. A policeman showed up with an arrest warrant for him, along with a list of charges longer than the nearby river. O’ hobgoblin, how sorry we are.